Wielding this STOP umbrella does not bestow you with the powers of a superhero ’s shield. Holding it in front of you as you cross the street does not protect you from jaywalking laws and it does not repel cars with the force of a thousand hippos. The sheer presence of this STOP umbrella will not deem you invincible. Please proceed to cross streets with caution. Make sure you have made eye contact with drivers and you see them slow to a stop before crossing the street.

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